I am very excited to invite you to discover a new way of living with children.
I live it with my daughters, I teach it, and I talk about it to everyone who wants to listen.
I call it Miraculous Parenting. Not because it’s magic, but because I truly believe that truly listening in the family is like waving a magic wand and generating a miraculous change, one that can heal all mankind.
Actually I’m inviting you to learn a new language.
A language that lets us grow together with our children.
I believe we can give our children what we never received from our parents.
We can give them the knowledge that they are deserving.
They deserve to receive exactly the kind of love they are asking for.
In order to know exactly what they are asking for we must listen to them.
In Miraculous Parenting, to listen means to listen deeply to what’s happening in a person’s soul.
To listen doesn’t always mean to the words he is saying or to his obvious needs but to his feelings, his emotions, and his deep requests.
The seven requests
“Mommy, Daddy, I ask to feel that here,
in this world to which you invited me, I am at home.
To feel that this world is our home, yours and mine,
a world of abundance that provides us with all our needs,
a world in which everything that happens is for us and for our sake.
That here, at home, there’s a place for everything that I am.
That it can contain all my strengths, my difficulties,
my feelings, my thoughts, and also my worst fears.
I ask to close my eyes, and nestle in your arms, to lean on you and know that I will not be hurt, I will not fall,
that I am protected and safe—unconditionally.
When it’s cold and when it’s hot. When you’re happy and when you’re sad. When you understand and when you’re confused. When we’re at home and when we’re in the street.
When there is money and when there is no money.
When everything works out and when nothing works out.
When I’m happy and lovable, when I’m annoying and aggressive, to feel calm and protected, quiet and trusting.
I want to feel that everything’s really okay.
That it’s good for me to trust and that I am home at all times and everywhere in the world.”
I want to sense the flavor of life, Together with you, I want to enjoy our existence here in this world, to close my eyes and open them, to effortlessly sip the abundant nectar that nourishes me above all, the pleasure of my very existence.
To eat—because it’s enjoyable. To play and laugh—because it’s fun and makes me feel alive.
To dip my hands into lots of materials, to smear pasta all over the table, to jump in mud, to get covered in paint, to run naked in the rain.
To play sensually with everything there is, to feel and express desires and passions, to experience the wildness and the storm and the fire that are me.
And to touch—to touch everything I like freely and with pleasure, everything that attracts me. Together with you, to feel that this life is fun, in this home, in this world. To feel a deep, solid connection to life, a connection that exists in me even when there’s no reason or purpose apart from enjoyment, my accurate compass, the source of truth, my strength and creativity.”
“I ask to feel wonderful and special just as I am.
That I am like a sun, the center of a universe, a source of light to all those around me.
I want to celebrate with you, effortlessly, what is special and wonderful in each of us.
To notice the nuances in every feeling, the truth in every emotion, the meaning in every act, the beauty in every sound, the strength in every shape.
To respect boundaries, needs, and preferences, both yours and mine, and those of everyone who lives with us.
To live easily and simply, fully present, on the stage.
To be the generous and flexible leader of my life.
To celebrate the beauty and the uniqueness that is me.
As I am. Exactly.”
“I ask to feel intimacy without barriers, inside me.
I want to feel deep partnership with whoever is with me.
To feel the fellowship of two souls, the exposure, the vulnerability and the unparalleled strength in true sharing.
To feel together. To feel your choice in me,
Your choice to be with me.
A choice you made with open eyes, a choice from up close, like a delicate dance in the dark, hand in hand, a choice so strong, so clear, that it needs no ground; it doesn’t depend on anything—in itself it is the source of strength and silence and movement from moment to moment.
I want to feel our partnership.
I ask to look into your eyes easily and gently, ask you to look at me, into me.
I ask to dance freely, with an open heart, even when my eyes are closed, to easily give myself with all my feelings and senses, my strengths and my weaknesses, in the greatest celebration of all, of two people, flesh and blood…together
“I want to bring out to the world,
everything that’s inside me.
Like a spring that easily makes its way from the bowels of the earth, widening and spilling over in waterfalls…
I simply want to flow, from darkness to light.
Quickly or slowly, in a gentle stream or fiercely, in every season and every moment that suits me, to feel that my inner self is welcome here, out with you in the world—unconditionally.
I want to express my thoughts,
my feelings, my desires, my fears.
My truth, the wild fire that is me, the storm and the turmoil within me, uninhibited…
To feel that you are a loving audience for everything that comes out from me, to feel that in our home, inside and outside are similar, intertwined.
That the voice is open, the movement flows, with no hesitation, no need to check that it is proper, that the time has come, that it’s nice enough, that it’s exactly right…
I want to know that, in our family, we agree to see and hear and feel what’s understood
and what’s threatening, what’s refined and what’s coarse.
We want to encounter everything here,
outside under the sky.
I want to live with you a life that is clear, revealed,
open to everything.
To live everything that you are and everything that I am, freely, in the light of the sun.”
“I want to fly…
to take off and soar, powered by my free thought,
to play with endless possibilities, to imagine, to invent, to look far into the distance,
to dream myself, to dream my life.
I want to feel the magic of existence together with you.
To look at a lump of clay and see a tiger, to know there’s a whale in that puddle, that I can gallop on a wild horse, that for me everything is possible.
To hear voices not everyone hears, to see sights only I understand, and to feel at home in all these hidden worlds.
When I feel something, I want you go along with my feelings, and when you feel, we’ll go along with your feelings, no need to explain.
Together with you, Mommy, together with you, Daddy, I want to feel and celebrate the enchantment within us, the magic wand we arrived with, the one with which we draw water from the rock, create a new reality out of nothing.
I want to feel that you’re flying with me, like a family of cranes discovering new stretches of innocence and inspiration, faith and depth and surprises and possibilities and magic…”
I want to feel that I am never, ever really alone.
To sense this simple connection to something greater than myself, greater than you too,
that loves us and looks after us.
I want to feel your gratitude for your very existence, for my own existence, free and simple gratitude, for what exists through us.
I ask that you look into my eyes and see me, that I am both big and small, that I am the wonder of creation, the embodiment of love, in my body, in my movements, in my difficulties, in my choices.
That you look at yourselves and see the wonder of creation that you are.
That you see your own existence as a blessing for the entire universe.
I ask that together we allow the exalted and the sublime in us to exist here, in our temple, where we live and breathe every day, every hour, on the way to kindergarten, in line to the cashier, when we lie down to sleep in the evening, and when we wake up early to go to work, to school…
I want you to agree, simply and easily, without this ancient weightiness, to live with me as a god and goddess, partners in creation, and let me live with you as a child of the gods, here on earth.
When we will choose to make humanity more humane, we will place the act of parenting in the center.
When we will agree to make the bond between children and their parents the central axis of life, the frightening shout of “Listen to me!” that agitates and shakes our world—will calm down.
In the quiet that will prevail, children and adults will be free to listen. To feel. And to generously and determinedly impart all their wonderful beauty, wisdom, power, and creativity—without a struggle.